Confrontational, outspoken, and a strong sense of sexuality are three ways in which my friend Elizabeth describes herself. Elizabeth is a thirty-seven year old, married, mother of one who runs a Granite and Marble Company with her husband. She grew up in Santa Barbara, California and was raised by her Liberal parents who were very active in the Civil Rights movements of the 1960's and 1970's. I chose to interview Elizabeth because I found that I learned a lot about what it means to be a woman from her before I even enrolled in this Women's Studies class. I met Elizabeth when I was sixteen through showing horses. We developed a friendship through horses and later became the best of friends. Little did I know that some of the conversation topics that we would casually talk about would surface later in Women Studies 2010. Now that I have a more of an education in women's studies, I thought it would be interesting to interview her with formal questions.
I began the interview by asking Elizabeth if she identified as a feminist. While she did not answer with, “I'm not a feminist but...”, she answered by saying she partially identified as feminist. I know she did not feel comfortable saying she was a feminist because of the negative connotation that surrounds the word. Elizabeth feels that feminism should promote the celebration of being a woman. I think that this is a good example of a third wave component of feminism. When asked to further define her view of feminism, she said that she is “Pro Woman!” Most of what Elizabeth learned about feminism, she learned from her mother and father. Because they were involved with the Civil Rights movement her parents made it a point to pass that on to Elizabeth and her sister. Elizabeth recalls having a notion of what feminism was when she was eleven years old. I found it surprising that she had a clue about feminism at that age but she admittedly said that she had more knowledge than her friends because of her family who was very open about Civil Rights. She remembers her father telling her, “women can be anything.” Elizabeth feels very fortunate to live in such a pro-woman environment because Feminism was not taught in school or widely talked about in her community in the 1980's.
By the time Elizabeth was twenty, the notion of feminism had a negative connotation
surrounding it. Feminism was unpopular, and not cool to identify with. Lots of people were tired of feminists and she said some women even felt embarrassed by feminists. These feelings towards feminism can be attributed to backlash. What Elizabeth was talking about was the backlash that gained force in the 1980's which Susan Faludi wrote about in “Blame it on Feminism.”
One of the main issues of concern for women that Elizabeth remembers was the fight for equal wages in the workplace. Women were holding the same positions as men but were not being paid the same amount of money. Some people thought that women were just being complainers, and that wages were just going to be the way they were going to be, and women should deal with it. Margaret Thatcher was a woman that had controversy which surrounded her in the 1980's. Elizabeth recalls how many people disliked her. Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan had many similar political policies, however Margaret Thatcher was disliked and hated because of what she represented. She had the image of being mean, hard, almost the epitome of why people did not like women in power. Women were ashamed and embarrassed of her. Elizabeth said it was like her woman-ess was erased because she had to play in the boys club. Another issue that was being introduced at the time was women who had jobs and their wish to be a mother as well. Women were liking their jobs, and wanting to be able to have a professional life and motherhood at the same time. The task of balancing motherhood and a career was being questioned. Many were left to wonder how this was going to be done.
You can hardly talk about feminism and women's rights without bringing up abortion. When I asked Elizabeth her stance on abortion, she told me that she identifies with Pro-Choice side. To her, abortion means women have the right to choose, but it should not be a method of birth control. She had an abortion herself, when she was eighteen years old. She had been on birth control pills and antibiotics at the same time, and the antibiotics killed the effectiveness of the birth control. This was by no means a planned pregnancy, and Elizabeth admits that she was not capable of caring for a baby and herself at that age. Elizabeth's mother paid the two hundred dollars it cost to have an abortion at
Planned Parenthood in North Hollywood. The man who got her pregnant, her boyfriend, came from a Catholic family and wanted her to have the baby. Elizabeth did not let him influence her decision and went against her boyfriend's wishes, however they did not break up over the incident. She had known a friend who had, had an abort at sixteen but abortions were kept very quiet. She had the support of her mother and sister and is very thankful that she had the right to choose. I also asked her the same question we had been asked in class, if she thought a woman who identified as Pro-Life could identify as feminist and she said no. I have a hard time with that question as well, I think that a woman should be able to choose to to whatever she wants with her reproductive life, choose to have the baby too, but I don't see how someone could say that a woman MUST not terminate her pregnancy even if she did get pregnant by rape or if her life was endangered by pregnancy.
Elizabeth had both positive and negative things to say when I asked her about the changes in feminism that she has seen since the 1980's and today. Feminism has definitely become more widely accepted in this modern day and age. She believes that soon if not already, women will be able to do whatever they want in the workplace and at home. Meaning that they will be able to have the top dollar, executive jobs and be mothers all at the same time. However, in the same breath she said that she is quite disappointed to be witnessing what is happening with the presidential election and Hillary Clinton. To her, it is as if Americans are taking steps back with feminism. Americans are almost showing racism towards women, anything but a woman in the oval office. She may not be the best presidential candidate, but Elizabeth feels as if Americans are not as supporting of Hillary Clinton, a female candidate, as they should be.
Feminism is ever changing, and will always have strides that need to be made. I asked Elizabeth about changes she thinks still need to be made and to her, women have not faced equality with freedom as men have. She acknowledged the double bind between men and women: men who have many partners are studs and women who have many partners are sluts. She would like to see this
notion banished, like many of us would! She would like to see the working mom not viewed as uncaring and selfish, but instead see that woman and empowered and strong. Women should be able to pursue their careers and dreams and have a family too. She brought up a point that I had not thought much about. It seems that the public deals much better with a man if a man breaks up a marriage. If a man were to leave his wife for another woman it would eventually be accepted or forgotten but if a woman were to leave her husband because she wasn't happy for whatever reason, forever she would be viewed as evil and selfish. People get over men leaving their wives but not wives leaving their husbands.
Elizabeth works in a “man's world,” the world of Construction. She does all of the scheduling and books for the company that her and her husband own. She has an extremely hard time getting respect from the men who she deals with. Some contractors do not take her seriously and ask to speak with her husband even if their call had nothing to do with the actual job, but had to do with scheduling or payments. It has taken years to establish her name in the area and for contractors to take her seriously but those who consistently work with her, respect her. She earned respect by never backing down, and by being, “polite but firm.” I asked her if she thought many women would have been in her job position twenty years ago, she says that there may have been some but not many. Today, women in the construction business are few and far between.
It was not until after I read Peggy McIntosh's piece, White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, that I became aware of all the white privilege that I do have. Elizabeth became aware of white privilege through experience. She grew up in a middle-upper class, predominantly white community. There was one African American in her elementary school and no Asians or Hispanics. She has Jewish heritage, and was made fun of throughout her childhood because of her Jewish last name, Bernstein. She knew she was not like all of the other white kids, and became aware of their privilege.
In concluding the interview if she thought that feminists had done more damage that good for
the movement as a whole. She, as well as I, believe that feminists have made enormous strides and that there is no way we are going to achieve equality without fighting the fight and standing up for ourselves. I think she is being active in today's feminist movement by being the woman that she is, a working mother and wife who says exactly what is on her mind and is never afraid to say exactly what she believe in.
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