Dupre: Interview Assignment

The Metamorphosis of a Women

As people get older, go through high school, proceed to college and grow within themselves, they begin to establish their own beliefs and ideas; their values and standing on controversial issues change. Just as a person's religion can change throughout life, so can one's view on feminism. When I met and interviewed my Spanish professor, Annie, I knew automatically that she was a strong woman with an empowering history; this is why I decided to interview her. I was curious to know her story and I sensed a future connection between us. During the interview I realized that I was correct in my hypothesis. Annie was extremely open and passionate with her answers during our conversation. Her view on feminism has altered since high school and college. She has learned from her experiences and has allowed them to shape her ethics and ideals; she has utilized them in order to become the person her parents never thought she could or wanted her to be, which is exactly what she aimed for.

Annie was raised in a broken home, by a mother more focused on drugs than her children and, as if that was not enough, an abusive father. She grew up as a “little parrot” of her mom's "men are a disgusting waste of skin" ideology.” Her parents constantly fought and and often became violent. Annie's mother tried to get her involved in their arguments, waking her up in the middle of the night to help her yell at him. Annie told me that, “[My mother] openly cheated on [my father], and even told me that it was justified by him not being a real man. She would have me help her find cheap hotels to go to with her lover, and I would get dropped off at Wal-Mart, so they could go be together. So, coming from that environment, as a teenager, it was easy to see men as evil - I was pretty brainwashed.” In high school she was very vocal. She attended a small, private school and went through several phases of nonconformist behavior, and constantly downed men. Annie commented, “In a very preppy, sort of exclusive little school, that was a pretty big deal.” When she chopped her hair off to less than one inch long and dyed it black, “people were looking.” She read “the typical Gertrude Stein stuff”, but didn't really have the freedom, as a teenager in a small town, to really do anything about it. She admitted that “it was all talk and attempts at shock value with the clothes, hair, and rebellious behavior.” She was just searching for something to control or to make her happy. She never found contentment in her home life, school was where she found her sanctuary.

The Spanish language was her passion and Annie wanted to be a Spanish teacher, but her parents had a different plan in mind. They told her that she was taking the easy way out with a teaching job and that she would never “make a name for herself with a normal job.” Essentially, teaching was not a suitable career. They had both already decided her future for her; choosing her high school path, future college, and even her major. Annie highly disagreed with her parent's actions and decisions and began planning her escape at the beginning of her junior year.

Her parents wanted her to go into a premedical career. Her only option, if you could even call it an option, was to apply to a nearby community college where she would have to commute and continue to live in her dismembered home. Annie knew that she wanted to have the university experience so that she could explore her education. She yearned to experience what it was like to be on her own and to fulfill her burning, desperate desire to rid her life of her unstable parents and home life. A Spanish teaching career was her dream job, so she decided to run away to Spain in order to escape her parents entrapment. Starting in Annie's junior year of high school and into her senior year, she began to save up money to buy the plane ticket that would begin her new life.

On the day of Annie's graduation her parents surprised her with a new Ferrari. This was an unexpected miracle that made her plan run much more smoothly. She attended her graduation, immediately drove to the airport, unbeknown to her parents, and boarded her flight to freedom. When she arrived in Spain reality started to sink in; she had nowhere to go. She was homeless and scared, but was also elated to be 5,000 miles away from her controlling parents and stale existence. Annie slept in the foreign airport as an illegal immigrant until she was able to receive the papers necessary to apply for legal citizenship. Once she obtained legality she acquired a job at a jewelry store. After some time she moved to the position of manager. Although this was a wonderful advance in status, it was not enough. She was alone, petrified, and still financially struggling. Annie then began to reflect on her family's history and realized that to obtain a better life she must obtain further education.

Annie comes from a genealogy of well educated and prosperous women. Her last three generations of grandmothers all had a college education and worked most of their lives. Her family has been in Pennsylvania since 1620 and her great-great-grandmother started the first school house in Pennsylvania. Annie learned as a young child, through her grandmothers, that education was extremely important and the key to opportunity in our world today. Annie's escapade in Europe taught her the importance of education. She barely made ends meat with her job in management and knew that she could not succeed on her own without a college education.

While still in Spain Annie entered into an abusive relationship that lasted for three years. She felt as if she had no other alternative than to stay with him. She was in a foreign country where she knew no one and had almost nothing. Realizing that she had fallen into the same trap that her parents had her in, Annie left Spain. After four years of hiding and learning the Spanish language she decided to return to America in order to pursue a Spanish major at a university. This realization led to Annie's exploring of the world of feminism and politics.

 It was in Spain that Annie was most involved in the Feminist movement.  Over there, she was involved with a very different group of people. “All my friends were gays and lesbians, artists, hard core hippies, or all of the above.”  She often went to rallies, marches, and other local events for gay rights and women's rights as well.  Annie told me she sacrificed many things in Spain: “We demonstrated outside a bar when a transsexual friend of ours got fired from working there.  I quit a job, that I really needed, because I felt that it was more oppressive to female employees than to male employees. For example, we were required to do all of the cleaning of the store, which was a big job, while the guys just had to answer the phone if it rang, which it never did. The result was that we were always running around getting things done so we wouldn't get yelled at while the guys sat on their asses.  I was manager of the store and I quit on the spot, so it was pretty extreme.  We really did try to "practice what we preached."”

In Annie's perspective the meaning of “feminism” has evolved over time. When I asked Annie if she identified as a feminist she began to explain how the term “feminist” has become a “bad word”and a self defeating cause in which to devote time. She has nothing against feminism; she agrees with a lot of their agenda such as equality and fair wage, but she feels that the feminist life style “is far from [her] reality.” When she first looked into feminism, she felt that it was empowering to herself and to other women. She used it as an excuse to reject men and to be independent. She was so angry and bitter towards men because of the abuse she suffered that she felt feminism was the answer. Later, she realized that this type of ideology was not entirely correct. The only men she had a right to be angry with were her own father and her previous boyfriend. Annie knew she needed to give other men a chance before making preconceived judgments. “There are good men and there are bad men [just as] there are good women and there are bad women. We should not assume that all men are evil and oppressive, simply because we must fight to be treated as equals.” Annie decided to give men, and people in general, a second chance. In retrospect, Annie thinks that practicing feminism made her cold and irrational. She began to reevaluate her life morals and ideologies.

When Annie was in college she began to understand how a lot of feminist women felt and why they behaved the way they did. Many believed they had to take on the male persona in order to be equal to men. They dressed in a male fashion and cut their hair short; Annie believes that, “women should be women and have their own style. That's how we will make a difference.” Throughout college she realized that she was the exact opposite of what “they” lived for. She found herself surrounding herself with friends who rejected men completely and believed they did not need men and sometimes no one at all, in order to live independently. They needed only themselves. People have a need, as did she, for love. She realized that she can be independent even with a man. Everyone at some point in their lives needs someone to lean on, to share values and memories with; to share existence. “No matter how much you deny it, no one wants to be desolate. That does not necessarily mean you have to have a partner, but all humans were created to depend on someone.”

In later years, Annie found a man who shared the same ideas and values as she did, and who respected her more than any member of her family ever did, or ever will. She is now married to that man and feels liberated by him. She looks forward to being a parent, but plans on raising her children in her own way. She does not intend on raising them in a traditional or conservative way, she “kinda hates that”. However, Annie believes that women should take pride in house work and taking care of the family, but she also embraces and plans to always respect education and being a part of the household income.

Professor Annie is one of the most compelling and influential teachers, as well as adult,that I have encountered in a long time. Annie has inspired me to want to embrace my beliefs and ideologies, even though they are entirely different than many other people's views. Annie's abusive, “man-hating” mother forced her to fear and reject men, until she was able to create her own opinion once she was free of her. Her devastating domestic atmosphere, experiences abroad, and her current lifestyle today, has shaped her life into what she, as a strong, confident liberated woman, represents. This assignment allowed me realize that every human has the opportunity to be who and what they want. People's ideas, morals, political and religious views, and personal identities can change at any time and people should not be judged for that. As people mature through their lives of innocent elementary kids, awkward middle schoolers, rebellious teenagers, and explorers of adulthood their way of behaving, thinking, and choosing, changes copious times until it truly defines “who you are.”