Ozaki: Interview Assignment

Accustomed to the routine conversational topics, my grandmother, Gloria, was delighted when asked if I could interview her for an examination and assessment of feminism, and she was eager to share with me her own experiences, thoughts, and ideas. Her enthusiasm was an obvious sign to me that, like most women, she lacked a supportive outlet for her uniquely female experiences and struggles, and it was a reminder of the crucial importance of consciousness-raising to both the progress of the feminist movement and the empowerment of women as individuals. Listening to an older and wiser woman’s reflections and opinions gave me insight into the meaning and purpose of feminism, and it enabled me to unearth the core of feminism: through my grandmother’s comments in the interview, I discovered that the concept of woman’s identity is indeed the living, breathing heart pumping life into the feminist movement, and that the struggle against oppression hinges on the realization of identity.
Undoubtedly women’s societal roles and expectations are shaped by the traditions and customs of their time and environment, but my grandmother seemed to have been less molded by those social norms in early life. Having been raised in the South during the Great Depression, my grandmother recalls the family values and religious traditions prevalent in society at the time, but the family dynamics in which she was raised were not completely ordinary: she remembers her mother being a particularly strong-willed, independent, hard-working woman, responsible for providing for their family when her father was injured suddenly in a job-related accident. Her mother’s matriarchal position within the family and role as bread-winner most likely had a profound effect on my grandmother’s early perceptions of womanhood, femininity, and gender roles: she remembers her mother “working hard and making her way” and being the type of woman “that wouldn’t tolerate being pushed aside.” Being raised with a predominant female influence most likely allowed my grandmother to develop her identity from an early age, as she remembers being somewhat of a tomboy and relating better to males than females. She does not recall any memories of feeling limited as a female or pressured to fulfill any particular ideals of femininity growing up, which most likely is attributed to the absence of brothers and the unique dynamic between her parents. Having dodged the “home training of the two sexes” that arises between male and female siblings, my grandmother had unusual freedom to explore and shape her identity as a girl, and compared to women who have “a way of defining themselves in terms of their differences from persons like their brothers,” my grandmother grew up relatively unrestricted by the bind of gender roles (Goffman 315).
Falling in love, my grandmother says, was one of the things that changed her life as a young woman and that shaped her views on marriage: when she met my grandfather, her only desire was to share the rest of her life with him, and she was eager to get married and have children. My grandfather, a kind-hearted and soft-spoken man, was in no way domineering or controlling, and my grandmother emphasizes that she has been able to maintain and explore her identity throughout her marriage. After the end of World War II, when men returned home from duty and family life resumed, my grandmother remembers the noticeable surge in traditional values and the heightened appreciation of family and community: becoming a wife was absolutely normal, even expected, and educational and career goals were not necessarily fostered. Though she had not completed high school and had not pursued a specific career at the time she was married, my grandmother did not allow being a wife to control her identity. To her, becoming a wife did not define her identity, and she remained interested in a variety of areas, including music, art, and travel and stayed active in church and community activities. She says that her husband was always encouraging and supportive of her intellectual and social endeavors and that she never had to struggle or fight to exercise her freedoms or to realize her identity. When I ask if she had ever experienced instances of discrimination because she was female, my grandmother explains that, because she was not active in the workforce for much of her marriage, she never faced the opposition and conflicts present in the labor market and “never felt the need to compete or fight.” Feeling blessed that she was able to take up small jobs when she wanted and to embrace all of her interests without the responsibilities of financially supporting her family, my grandmother tells me that she did not necessarily identify with the feminist movement as a young woman.
After giving birth to her two daughters, my grandmother says that her life instantly became devoted to the wellbeing of her children and the happiness of her family. She tells me that she was always happy raising her children, even as her role as mother began to occupy much of her identity, a shift that became especially apparent when her children were grown. After her daughters, my mother and my aunt, had completed college and were married and out of the house, my grandmother began to feel a pull towards educational and professional fulfillment. Earning her GED and working towards a professional degree became exciting and time-consuming goals, but she says that she was fortunate enough to be able to pursue her ambitions whole-heartedly. Hearing my grandmother talk about her mid-life hunger for personal fulfillment immediately prompted me to ask about her thoughts on Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique and her opinions on the dissatisfaction of America’s women. Though she says she had never read The Feminine Mystique and was not completely familiar with its contents, my grandmother had some powerful insights on the discontentment sometimes associated with a housewife’s role and the consuming nature of motherhood: “I personally could never imagine abandoning my children,” she says, “because I think there’s a certain amount of loyalty there.” Although my grandmother says she never really identified personally with the feminist movement and even though she has lived a traditional life that many feminists are vehemently resisting, her outlook on identity and free choice are surprisingly aligned with feminist ideals. She tells me, “I chose this life. I wanted to get married and have a family,” but she also maintains that she has recognized the importance of creating and fulfilling her own unique identity as a woman.
A radical, zealous, and sometimes violent image of feminism has kept my grandmother from identifying with the movement throughout her life. She only knew of it what was sensationalized in the press, and she was deterred by anti-male and pro-abortion sentiments that seemed to be representative of the entire feminist cause. “I hated that men had to be put down so,” she tells me, prompted by the perception that feminism blames men exclusively for the oppression of women. On the other hand, she does support the fight for women to achieve equal pay in the labor force and equal voice in the political arena, and she wishes to see more support and rights for single mothers.
After the interview, my grandmother kept saying to me, “Well, I’m probably not the one you wanted to talk to since I haven’t faced any opposition really,” but through her insights I began to see woman’s identity rather than physical struggles as the core of feminism. Activism and outward resistance to oppression comprise the visual display of the feminist movement, and the issues associated with identity are less apparent and can be easily predominated by the more explicit struggles for social equality. Interviewing my grandmother helped me see the importance of self-actualization to the happiness of women and the need for women to “be free to define themselves-- instead of having their identity defined for them, time and again, by their culture and their men” (Faludi). I also realized that the traditional roles as wife and mother do not necessarily have to be oppressive or restrictive if a woman is able to retain her unique identity and to define herself as more than her various gender roles. The intersections in my grandmother’s identity are obvious, and it seems that she was able for most of her life to preserve and recognize all of the different parts of her identity. When she saw her roles as wife and mother begin to consume her identity, she took action to regain a unique sense of self and to mold her own life according to her desires. She acknowledged the contributions of all parts of her identity to her self, which very much aligns with Audre Lorde’s following assertions:
“My fullest concentration of energy is available to me only when I integrate all the parts of who I am, openly, allowing power from particular sources of my living to flow back and forth freely through all my different selves…” (Lorde).
With this historical perspective and my own reflection, I believe that, until women can completely realize and embrace their own identities, there will always be a need for a feminist movement. Without a clear understanding of who they are, who they want to be, and who they could be, women will continue to be subject to oppression and will be forced to accept identities assigned to them by society’s gender-related systems. I see consciousness-raising and continuous and honest verbal dialogue as the most important components of feminism, for I believe strongly that once women are fully able to realize their identities, there will be a universal respect and cooperation capable of breaking down all barriers of inequality.