Grace: Interview Assignment

Despite her pacifist characteristics and subdued exterior, Marilyn is an interesting person with various strong convictions. Her life has led her down many differing paths that have helped to form her opinions and keep her open-minded to differing opinion. Marilyn is currently living the retired life and enjoying that retired life in suburbia by remaining active in her church and participating in activities to help her community. Before, she retired, she held many different occupations like nurse, teacher, analyst, and house-wife. Marilyn has been married three times, traveled extensively, and is part of a large family. I think that Marilyn has some interesting perspectives due to her varied experiences and her claim that she is not a feminist was proven otherwise throughout the interview.
While she may not consider herself a feminist, she believes in many of the causes the movement is fighting for, but she also has many issues with the movement and their approach to tackling some of those issues. Feminism means something different to every person because of the effects of varying life experiences, social factors, and personal philosophies. The negative stereotypes, which arose as a form of backlash, associated with feminism has led to many women not defining themselves as feminists despite their feminist beliefs and actions. In Marilyn’s case, I think this has played a significant role in her decision to not define herself as a feminist. Marilyn views the feminist movement as a force that is fighting for equality, but she sees feminists in a very negative perspective. Through her experiences, she has come to see feminist as aggressive women, who want to become men. Everything from their behavior to their clothing choices demonstrates their desire to be like men in order to get what men have, but she feels that the differences between men and women should be celebrated. While she wants the same chances and respect as men, she doesn’t want to be treated like a man or become more like a man because she isn’t a man. Marilyn’s first husband, who she could only describe as sexist, often told her that she couldn’t do things because she was a woman, which is not the treatment that she meant. While she does not view this a significant feminist moment in her life, I feel that divorcing a man because of the treatment she received and her subordinate position is a form a activism and her part in fighting for equality. Marilyn feels that acknowledging the differences between the sexes is necessary, but a different treatment because of those differences is wrong.
Religion has played a significant role in Marilyn’s life and also influenced her views of the feminist movement. Marilyn was raised as a devout Catholic by her parents. They were deeply religious and followed the church’s doctrines closely, which is evident in the large size of their family. Most notably Catholics are against birth control and abortions, which influenced Marilyn’s views. In response to the church’s view on birth control and view on families, Marilyn had a large brood of children and highly valued having a large family. Since the Catholic Church played a big part in her life, Marilyn had to find a balance between motherhood, church doctrines, and the feminist movement like the Chicana movement had to do. The church is fervently against abortion and leaves no room for discussing the issue. While Marilyn adopted the church’s pro-life stance, she does believe that a person can be a feminist and pro-life. She does not see the issues as set and unmoving, but as personally defined. In this perspective, Marilyn has third-wave definition of feminism, where it is more inclusive of a more varying meaning of feminism. Despite her more conservative views and belief that she is not a feminist, I feel that her experiences with the church has left her with a more feminist standpoint and beliefs that she thinks she has. After her divorce from her first husband, she felt that she was no longer accepted by the Catholic Church because the church has strict views on the family and their unforgiving nature towards divorce despite her reasons or need for a divorce. After separating herself from the Catholic Church, Marilyn went on to experience the Baptist and Methodist faiths. She felt that both of these religions were more welcoming and had less constricting views of women. In an interesting turn in her life, her third husband was a practicing catholic so she returned to the Catholic Church, which is something she did not expect to do. The Catholic Church is a well-established patriarchal system that limits the involvement of women, but Marilyn has seen a change in the rights of women even in this male-dominated organization that is resistant to change. For example, women are now allowed to be Eucharistic ministers to the sick and are more actively involved in programs held by the church.
Marilyn sees the feminist movement and the improvements in equality as a current that can not be stopped. The changes she has seen in the Catholic Church are representative of the changes that have occurred in society. Marilyn has seen the increase in equality for women and the improvement in the lives of women because of that equality. She feels that this fight for equality will continue and changes will continue occur to improve the situation of women. While she did not really care for the second-wave’s approach and tactics, she does not like this new wave of feminism because of their extremist tendencies. Popular media, which teeters on the line between degrading and sex-positive, is not a good influence for young girls according to Marilyn. While she feels that dressing like a man is the wrong approach, she sees the “sex-positive” approach as a tactic that detracts from a person’s merits. Women in popular media like the Pussycat Dolls use their body to attract the attention of men, but it does nothing to advance women and is often misused by women. While working for Continental, she had a woman boss and fellow women as co-workers, but she often saw women using their sexuality to advance or abuse the equality that women had worked hard to gain in the corporate world. The corporate world is extremely resistant to change and is a well-established boys club, where women are not easily accepted and owning one’s sexuality does not help their cause. Marilyn feels that there is a time and place for feminism. Along the lines of the second wave perspective, she feels that there are appropriate forms of activism and that abusing the hard earned rights of women as a form of activism will only be detrimental to the movement.
It is common for most people to claim that they are not a feminist because society has perpetuated a negative view of feminists. This negative view was created as a backlash to the movement’s progress by those that are afraid or resistant to the change. The third-wave of feminists made a more inclusive definition of feminism that would include even pro-life women. I think Marilyn would be surprised to find out that she has many opinions in common with the feminist movement and that in her own way she is a feminist. Although she does not think that the differences between men and women can be ignored, she does believe in a woman’s right for equality and even participated in her own form of activism, which would qualify as activism based on a third-wave perspective. Interestingly, Marilyn combines some second and third wave elements in her personal philosophies, which probably makes it difficult to relate to either one of the waves of feminism or define herself as a feminist.