Interview Assignment

Many people today feel that the feminist movement is at a standstill. They believe feminists from earlier movements have done everything they could accomplish and that there is nothing else they can achieve. However, there are still women who are concerned with consciousness rising and are fighting to keep their voices heard. These women are doing whatever they can to further the movement their mothers started a century ago. I believe that it is the responsibility of parents to raise families to be leaders and show their children the steps that have been made in order for women to be equal in the house and in society.
For more than 150 years, women have fought to be more than just housewives. It started with just a handful of women battling to gain respect in a patriarchy society. These women, such has Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Stanton, were willing to risk everything they had to allow women in the future to have their own voice and place. Anthony, Stanton, and many other women knew the impact women could have if they were allowed to express their thoughts, ideas, and feelings about the changes occurring during their time. Because they were willing to stir the pot, women today have been given an opportunity that Anthony and Stanton could only dream about. This movement is known as first wave feminism movement. The first wave movement is said to have ended in 1920 with the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote. Although this was a huge step for women, there was still more that could be done.
This led to the second wave feminist movement. This movement started around 1960 when women were expected to fill the role for men while they were fighting in WWII. Because women started to work in factories and had other jobs outside their home, more women started to realize they could achieve a lot more than what they were led to believe. Betty Freidan expressed these feelings in The Feminine Mystique. Freidan spoke about a discontent feeling women at the time were feeling. This discontent became known as “The Problem that had No Name.” This book helped to lead to the start of the second wave feminist movement. This movement focused on creating equality for all women. Not just in the household, but also in the business world.
Although the first and second wave movement accomplished a lot for women’s rights, women today still feel there is work to do to truly become an equal part in society. Third wave feminist today are continuing the fight. However, women in this movement are dealing with a lot of struggle to gain any more ground. Rebecca Walker and other feminist women are trying to get women from all over the world an equal opportunity. One problem they are struggling with is that many people feel there is nothing else women can do. These people feel that everything that can be done has been done already.
After having my interview with a long time friend of my family, I realized one important piece to successfully creating a better future for women. Susan is a forty eight year old teacher at a local elementary school. She is a speech therapist at Holly Springs Elementary. However, Susan is also a proud mother of three kids. She was raised in a small town in North Carolina. Susan is a person who loves life and lives everyday the best she can. She loves helping anyone in her life and would do anything she can to make sure you are ok. During our interview, Susan expressed that if it were not for her parents and how they treated her brother and her as equal people, she would not be the person she is today.
This is where the households today can make a difference for women equality. How children are brought up by their parents can impact how they treat each other in the future. One of the first questions I asked during my interview was the impact Susan’s parents had during the early years of her life. “My parents always made my brother and I feel as if we could do or be whatever we wanted. They never treated my brother any different then me. My father always respected my mom and cared for her better than most husbands did back then.” To me, this is important for children to see growing up. If they are raised seeing their mom or sister treated differently or not being able to do the same things as their father or brother, they may believe this is the social norm.
Susan grew up in North Carolina during the start of the second wave movement. As a child, she remembers doing the same activities as her older brother. “We would ride our bikes together and had the same friends,” Susan said without any hesitation. Susan could not remember any certain moment were she felt as if her brother was treated better than she was. I asked Susan if there was ever a time where she felt as if life could be better or easier had she been a boy. “I have never felt or wished to be a male! Are you kidding me?” Susan said proudly. I rephrased the question in a manner to see if she ever felt like an outcast for being a female. “Not that I can remember. Right before I started high school, my family and I moved to another town in North Carolina. At the time, I was wearing boy’s Levi jeans because they fit me better. As I made friends there, I was asked by both sexes why I wore boy jeans. Before I knew it, I started a new trend for my high school. My girlfriends started to wear the same jeans as I did.” I really thought this was amazing considering when it happened. It also made me realize that the people who might have had a problem with her or any girl wearing boy jeans, were probably the same people who were raised to believe that there are things that girls should wear or hobbies they should be involved in and things that boys should wear and do.
Because Susan was raised during the second wave movement, I asked her how her parents supported her decision to go to college. “My mom and dad always supported me in anything I wanted to do. They never tried to convince me to go for a certain occupation or to not go to college at all.” I remember my mom telling me stories about her father telling her sister and her that they did not have to go to college. Instead, they should try to find a guy who would marry and support them. Again, this demonstrates the impact parents have on their children.
While attending college, Susan met her future husband, David. Before I could even bring up the question, Susan quickly started to explain to me the difference between her parents and his parents. “David grew up with a family were his dad made all the decisions and it carried over to our marriage. His parents were very active in our marriage life.” Susan went on to explain the impact David’s parents had on their marriage. “He became very controlling with me. I needed to get his permission before I did anything, yet he was able to do whatever he wanted. I could not leave the house without me having to tell him exactly where I was going, why I was going, and when I would be back. It really bothered me because he was not like this when we first got together.” Susan knew the reason he was this controlling was because this is what he saw his father do to his mom. Susan could not understand why his mom was so accepting of this behavior and why she never did anything to fix it.
Susan and David had three kids together, a daughter, Lindsey and two sons, Tyler and Spencer. I asked Susan what kind of influence David had on their kids. “David treated our two boys entirely differently than how he treated our daughter. He always made sure to do whatever he could for the boys. He was involved in sports with them and spent most of his time with them.” Some people would say this is how it is suppose to be. The dad spends more time with the boys and the mom spends more time with the daughter. “It was how he treated our daughter that really hurt me. David made Lindsey feel as if she was not important to him. Even worse, David would verbally abuse her.” Susan explained that this is was when she knew she had to do something but she did not know what to do. As the years went on, the fighting became more frequent. “I felt like I was always having to stand up for her or go behind his back and let Lindsey do something he said she couldn’t. This only caused more problems for he and I.”
For six years, Susan contemplated getting a divorce. “Inside I knew this was the best option I had for me to be happy but I took ‘til death do us part’ seriously and tried everything to make things work.” Eventually, Susan realized there was nothing more that she could do. “I took all the fault. I really felt like I was doing something wrong to make him treat us this badly.” Susan finely realized that she either had to continue living in this unhealthy marriage or stand up for herself and what she believed and divorce David.
“I have been separated for 5 years now and divorced for 3. I am a happier, better person. My pain I feel is more like a bruise now which is good because I’m healing.” Susan said that a book she bought when she first separated really helped her get through it. The author of the book is Patricia Evans. The book was written to help women cope with having a husband or man that verbally and emotionally abused their wives. “The hardest part of all of this is knowing that he really did love me. Unfortunately, because of how he was raised, he was never able to see the pain he was causing Lindsey and I.” Susan explained how she is starting to feel the internal happiness she lost for so many years. “I feel more like a child today. I have a feeling of peace inside me that I have not felt since I was kid. I go to bed every night alone, but I have this feeling I used to get on Christmas Eve.”
After having my interview with Susan, I really felt that women are not at a place first wave feminist would hope to be. It is hard to believe that after all the fighting women have done to battle oppression and to be equal in a male-dominant society, there are still women all over struggling to have peace. That is not to say there has not been any improvement over the years because there has been. However, in order for women to become equal, it has to start with what children are taught as right and wrong. As parents, it is important that they demonstrate equality in the household. If kids are brought up in an equal household, where both sexes are able to work together, it is more likely these kids will grow up treating everyone equal and eventually their own kids. This type of education can eventually lead to a more equal society.