Growing up as apart of my family, it is widely known that anything and everything is to be talked about. We talk about academics, sex, society, and everything in between. That is at least what I thought until this semester, my second semester as a college student. Everything changed when I entered my Introduction to Women's Studies class and I finally found a topic that was never talked about in my family's many conversations. This mystery topic is the topic of feminism and its cause the oppression of women. This fact struck and interest in me, I wanted to know why my family never brought up feminism.
My family is highly dominated by women and young girls so this topic seems to me to be paramount to be included in these conversations that are held daily between members of my family. Recently, I questioned my aunt Salathia J. Wison-Powell (one of the many voices of my family) to get to the bottom of this mystery. I wanted to know what were my family thoughts and opinions on the many topics brought up in my Women's Studies class. But most important wanted to make women's issues a topic discussed often in my family, so I decided to make this interview the first time.
We started off with a random discussion on feminism. When I asked what feminism meant to her, she responded “I'm confused about the exact meaning, but I do know it's a movement that has something to do with women's rights. I explained that feminism has many meanings. Meanings that include Marilyn Frye's definition of feminism as a movement that is concerned with the oppression of women, and sexism. Then she answered my next question without me asking, “in that case I am all for that movement.” We laughed for a few moments and then continued.
Seeing that my aunt Salathia is forty-four years old, black, heterosexual, married woman I informed her about how identity is important when discussing this topic and how it is important that we don't separate the intersections that cross through each of us as taught by Audre Lorde in “Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Redefining” I also informed her that she lived through the second-wave of feminism and might be (according to what you believe) living through the third wave of feminism. With this new information delivered to her, we focused on her life and the experiences she had growing up as a black woman. She says she first noticed the difference in roles between men and women as a child at home. Salathia is one of four children, three of whom are female. She says that her mother (a single mother for most of their childhood) expected the girls to do all of the house work, which even included cleaning their brother's room. Expected of their brother “nothing” only “to be a boy.” This reminds me of the “X: A Fabulous Child Story” by Lois Gould that I read early this semester when we were discussing sex vs. gender. People are taught to conform to a gender based on their sex organs.
Salathia goes on to say closer to the end our conversation that she still notices these roles played out today. “Take my boss for example,” she says, “she is one of partners that own the company I work for but she is the only woman and even though she has a voice in the company it is still the smallest” Salathia goes on to say that her boss is sometimes taken for granted in the company. She raps up by saying that “women are definitely still not equal to men.”
As stated before it is important that we can not separate the intersections that cross between each of us, because they define who we are. Therefore, our conversation turns to race, being two African American women it's important that we talk about the issues that are unique to us. We agree that it seems that feminist in the past have ignored what is truly important to us. For example, Betty Freidan's “The Problem with No Name,” concerns middle to upper class white women, because like my aunt points out “black women were more independent white women” and I add the fact that they had to be because of their socioeconomic status. Therefore, the problem of being anxious to do something as explained in Freidan's piece does not concern women of different minorities (not just African American).
My aunt being the intelligent women that she is brings up the fact that women have so many issues, from oppression due to the double-bind to reproductive rights. I ask her what she thinks of the double-bind using sexuality as the example. “It is completely unfair” my aunt says, “why should a woman have to be faced with being labeled a whore or a slut because she enjoys sex, when men due the same behavior they are treated with a pat on the back not a demeaning word.”
“The next topic we face”, I explained to Salathia, “is the most controversial topic in my class, and that is reproductive rights and abortion.” She says that her only opinion is “a woman should be able to decide what happens to her body in all situations,” she says, “So I guess I’m one-hundred percent pro-choice.” Pro-choice respects a woman’s moral capacity to make decisions regarding her health and welfare, including reproductive decisions.
Feminist are all about standing up for any one who is being treated bad or oppressed by another, no matter their race, gender, religion, or sexual preference. With this info my aunt responded “then I’m definitely a feminist” a quote I didn’t expect, “I don’t go to rallies and meetings but by that definition (above statement) I’m definitely part of the feminist movement”. I explained that seeing that we are in the third wave of feminism that’s quite acceptable because third-wavers are okay with unintentional feminist.
I have to say that talking about women’s issues is quite liberating in a way. Even though this semester has shown me through readings experiences of women, sharing experiences with another person makes it all click. No matter what your age, race, or socioeconomic status all women share common experiences and thoughts.
My family doesn’t talk about these issues because “I guess we don’t think is necessary,” says my aunt Salathia, “we have always raised strong women in our family, and these issues are just known to us something we face daily.” I agree with my aunt that we have strong women in our family, but explain to her the concept of consciousness-raising how sharing experience can help us with these issues that are “just something we face”. We decided that day to incorporate all of issues we discussed into family conversations.
My family is now a family that talks about anything and everything. We talk about sex, society, politics, entertainment, academics, everything in between, and women rights. We are a family full of strong, black, beautiful women. Each of us in our own way are, in the words of my favorite singer Alicia Keys, a “Superwoman,” yet another thing me and my aunt agree on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SLeae3Yoe0
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